Your assumed subtleties are actually quite obvious. In fact, you should just update your status daily to, “My Facebook is set to public in the hopes that my ex will look at my status updates (which are conveniently all about him) and be SUPER mad that I’m trying to behave like this situation is on par with a middle school breakup.”

“Seriously just woke up from last night. Got so fucked up. Anyone want to remind me what happened last night? Oh also I’m missing my bra LOL!!”

So when someone commented and called you a whore, why did you fill up my news feed with a 30+ comment battle of redundancy? All you had to say was “guilty”.

You want to know what I really hate? Going on Facebook and seeing white people with the “n” word throughout their status. Not only is it offensive, but 50 cent is never going to call you up one day and make you the newest member of G-Unit. Wow, you know how to use an extremely offensive term in an unintelligent manner. I know if you had any black friends, you would not be throwing status updates around like that. Move out of your suburban Malibu’s Most Wanted environment and try talking like that in front of people who don’t think you are the next Eminem because you write shitty “beats”, and can successfully rhyme “hate me” with “aint me”. I bet you won’t have a single fake diamond left in your fake grill you got at a pagoda in the mall with money your mom gave you.

That is all.

“Fuck all of you. You all are just haters. All you do is say nasty shit about people because you’re jealous. You are just nasty ugly slutty whores who will never amount to anything because all you do is suck dick for a living.”

Please, don’t hold anything back. Tell us how you really feel.